Week THREE - Worship History

This week we are focusing on Symbolic Actions in the Church in regards to Worship.

I mentioned this quote already in my little forum write up, but I can't get it out of my head, so I'm going to blog about it. Again, it's from Dan Wilt's EBook:

“A sacrament might best be defined as “An outward sign that conveys an inward grace.”

Right away, this quote made me think of my own baptism. But before I write about that, I really wanted to look up the definition of GRACE. A few of the definitions I found online fit right into my baptism story.

Grace - "A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve."
Grace - "Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people."
Grace - "The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God."
Grace - "Mercy; clemency."

People always asked me when I was in my teens why I, the Pastors daughter, had not yet been baptized? All of my friends had taken the step of baptism, shouldn't I have been with them? Did I think I was holier then them? Did I not feel it was important? Did I feel that being the Pastors kid was enough to get me to Heaven? Did I not have my OWN relationship with Jesus?

None of those were true.

I was NOT a good teenager. I was the Pastor's kid that everyone talked about, that got "told on" often when I was out with my friends doing what I shouldn't have been doing and someone from the congregation saw me. I did all of the bad things that most teenagers don't worry about till they are 17, I did them by 15. Was it a rebellion against my parents lifestyle? Being forced to believe in God? Having to be perfect all the time because everyone was watching me? Or did I just want to try all of those things.

ALL of those were true.

I didn't get baptized in my teens because I KNEW the importance of baptism and I did not feel that I was near the place I should be in my relationship with God to take that step. It wasn't about what everyone around me thought, or what my parents wanted. I could not make that commitment to God until I knew I could stick to it and never walk away from it.

After graduating high school at 17, I went on to Bible School. Not many of my friends were going, as I wasn't really hanging around with Christians at the time of my graduation but I had always wanted to go to Bible School, so I stuck with my plan. This is where my turn around happened. God FOUND me and allowed me to discover who I was in Him. He was patient and allowed me to discover Him when I was ready.

I DID get baptized, at 19 years old, just a few weeks before my wedding to my husband of now 12 years who I met at Bible School. I got baptized because I was committed to God and never wanted to walk away from Him. I FINALLY had found that GRACE inside of me that I had been trying to uncover. The GRACE was from God, but I hadn't allowed myself to really believe it was there, or to accept it.

When I found that GRACE, I was finally willing to have an outward sign telling everyone that I believed in the GRACE of my Heavenly Father and that I was accepting it and wanting to walk in it.

Accepting grace is an ongoing battle, we can feel so unworthy and we need to give ourselves permission to look past the bad we've done and focus on what He has given to us. But I'm so glad I waited until I was ready, until it was on MY terms.